The In-Betweens: What’s Holding You Back from Meeting Your Fitness and Health Goals

When I mention the "in-between" in this article, I’m rephrasing the obstacles we create for ourselves (hello, self-responsibility) in a more poetic, less self-critical way. These obstacles are simply the space between where you are now and where you want to be. While they may stand in the way of your fitness and health goals, they also offer opportunities for growth, change, and self-reflection.

The best part? You have the power to overcome them, and they help deepen your self-awareness. After all, we can’t change what we aren’t aware of.

The 10 In-Betweens (In No Particular Order)

You Don’t Believe You’re Capable

This one is easy to understand but sometimes more complex to change. Our beliefs shape our reality. If you doubt your abilities or believe you’re not capable, it will directly affect your outcomes. Start by understanding your beliefs. Ask yourself: “What do I believe about my fitness abilities?” “Where did this belief come from?” “Is it even mine, or did I inherit it?” Identifying these beliefs is the first step toward change.

You Need More Rest

Sleep is critical for your body’s recovery and repair. Good quality sleep—uninterrupted, in a quiet, dark, and cool room—supports your recovery. But rest isn’t just sleep; deep rest can also happen while awake by getting out of your mind and into your body. Mental rest is just as important as physical rest. Both are needed for your body to heal from and prepare for exercise. Rest is also important during a woman’s menstrual phase.

You’re Not Eating Enough or Nourishing Yourself With Real Food

Food fuels us, and movement requires energy. Proper nutrition is essential for rebuilding your body after exercise. Common questions I get asked by clients are: “What should I be eating each day? How much and how often? When should I first nourish myself after waking?” We explore these answers in more depth during 1-on-1 sessions. Many people run on empty, skip meals, have caffeine before food, and rely on processed foods, yet still wonder why they aren’t progressing in their physical fitness and why they don’t feel energized. Prioritizing real, nourishing food is key to achieving your fitness goals.

You’re Not Lifting Heavy Enough Weights or Increasing the Load and Demand

If you want to get stronger, fitter, and achieve the look you’re after, you can’t stick to lifting the same 5- or 10-lb dumbbells forever. To progress, you need to challenge yourself by increasing the weight, volume, and demand in your workouts and pushing yourself to new capacities. Don’t expect to improve without some discomfort. And don’t even get me started on the fear of women getting bulky.

Inconsistency

Half-hearted efforts won’t cut it if your goals are specific and time-bound. Consistency is important. You can’t expect results if you work out three times one week, then drop to once a week. Your body adapts to what you consistently do. This applies not just to workouts but also to your eating, sleeping, and mind-body practices. Showing up regularly, even when you don’t feel like it, builds self-trust and leads to growth.

You Don’t Know the Basics of Movement

Not knowing how to move properly isn’t necessarily your fault, but it is your responsibility to learn. You need to master the basics, such as a push-up, lunge, squat, hinge, and plank, before advancing. Once you’re confident with these movements, you can spice things up by trying different types of exercise and making your workouts more fun. Knowing the basics is crucial to building a solid foundation.

You Lack Discipline

This is one of the simplest yet most important factors. Motivation comes and goes, but discipline is what keeps you on track. Discipline is about showing up, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s key to shifting and expanding. Over time, discipline can evolve into devotion.

You Force Yourself to Do Movements You Think Are 'Right' Instead of Ones You Enjoy and That Align With Your Cycle

A lot of people feel like they should be doing specific exercises or types of workouts. While it’s true that sometimes we need to do things we don’t love, and there are basic movements that should be staples depending on what program phase we’re in, finding movement you enjoy that aligns with your goals is key. Movement can be fun—it shouldn’t feel like a chore every time you work out. Incorporate exercises you enjoy and feel confident in, then expand.

Moving in alignment with your cycle is important. Our body follows a rhythm, and its needs shift depending on the phase of the cycle. Understanding your body in this way helps you tune into its needs and discern the best approach for your workouts, adjusting week to week.

You Lack Structure, Routine, and Support

Creating structure provides a clear path to start. If you're struggling with this, consider working with a trainer or coach for support. As a coach, I don’t hand-hold; instead, I equip you with the tools you need to build confidence and independence. Investing in professional guidance is an investment in yourself for life.

You Don’t Genuinely Care About Your Fitness and Health; You’re Focused on Vanity

It’s time to reflect on why you really want to be fit. While wanting to look good is natural, it shouldn’t be your sole focus. The fitness industry often promotes superficial goals, but true transformation occurs when you shift your focus to what fitness and health mean on a deeper level—how being fit and healthy impacts our biology and ability to heal. When you enjoy the process and recognize the value in movement and health, the rewards are far greater.

The "in-betweens" can feel like areas where we lack something or experience frustration. However, they also serve as a bridge, connecting one version of ourselves to another. This space is valuable for reflecting on where we are, where we want to go, and understanding our values, beliefs, habits, and thoughts. However, staying in this in-between for too long can lead to stagnation. It’s a place to pause, not to linger.

A Side Note on “Not Enough Time”

I didn’t include “Not Enough Time” as an in-between because I don’t see it as a valid excuse. While it's a common reason people neglect their health and fitness, it often reflects a misunderstanding of priorities. We make time for what we truly value, even if that means rearranging schedules, saying no to other commitments, or setting boundaries to prioritize our health.

Where to Start

With all this information, where do you begin? A common concern I hear is, "I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start." Overwhelm often stems from a narrow focus and the stories we tell ourselves about our situation. However, it can be managed when we open up to other possibilities or see things from a different perspective. By slowing down and starting with just one small change, even for one day a week, we can make progress. One step is better than none.

We often try to manage everything alone, but we're not meant to go through life by ourselves. Support from our communities and families is essential. This is why working 1-on-1 with a coach who aligns with your goals can be so beneficial. It allows you to release the illusion of control and fully invest in yourself.

In health,

Abigail