The Most Intense Back Pain I’ve Ever Had—And It Didn’t Come From Exercise

A Personal GNM Story

I am currently in the healing phase of a biological program that, to my knowledge, I’ve never experienced before—and it’s been intense. It’s been an experience that’s made me reflect on how I really perceived something in a moment because, at the time, I would’ve never guessed I would run this program so intensely—if at all. This is a good example of why we start with the symptom first, then trace back to the shock—or the moment we were caught off guard. If we get stuck on the moment we were caught off guard, we can end up telling all kinds of stories about what we’re about to experience physically, and that can bring up a lot of fear. It’s just not worth it—nor does it help us learn about our bodies or integrate and embody the wisdom of German New Medicine. It only perpetuates storytelling, drama, and keeps us looping in the what-ifs.

I’ve been a movement coach and personal trainer for seven years—I know what it feels like in my body to be sore from exercise. It’s a familiar sensation, and I can usually tell the difference between soreness from movement the day before (or a few days prior) and pain from something else.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling like I had deadlifted 1,000 pounds the day before—my entire mid-back, all the way down my erector spinae, was SHOT. You’d have thought I’d been in a weightlifting competition or hit a new personal record with how much I could deadlift. And I don’t even lift like that anymore. 😂 It was wild.

All I did the day before was show off a handstand (literally one handstand) to our friends and their little girls—one of whom is in gymnastics and was loving doing all her flips and handstands—outside in the garden at one of our local pubs here in England.

I knew it couldn’t have been that because, one, I only did one handstand, lol. And two, I’ve been more active than that recently and been less sore. Also, I don’t believe there’s such a thing as just “having a bad night’s sleep”… not for how sore and intense my back was.

I knew I was running a biological program.

The conflict associated with the mid-back is self-devaluation—“I feel degraded or humiliated.” I took a moment to see if anything came up for me in relation to this… and nothing. This made me question what it actually was because usually it’s clear when we retrace the past day or so and can clearly see the moment of shock and then the resolution. But absolutely nothing was coming to me.

It can be easy to get in a frenzy when we can’t figure out what’s going on, but there’s a lot of beauty in sitting with the unknown and being in that space of discomfort and not-knowing. Just that practice alone has really helped me grow as a person—not gripping to the answers, not needing to know how to resolve anything or what the resolution was once I did experience it.

Trusting that my body is doing what it’s doing for me, and letting go of needing to know every ounce of why, when, and how, is usually the best way. It also allows us to create more peace for ourselves than going down the rabbit hole of fear and worry.

Acceptance is peaceful. And every time, it’s the letting go that allows the answers to flow in.

And that’s exactly what happened.

The next day, I was taking a bath and enjoying being in the warm water, and all of a sudden, it came to me! The ah-ha moment—just as I was not thinking, worrying, or trying to problem-solve anything. Just taking a good ole bath, being in my body.

So here’s the story…

A couple of days before, I had posted in a Facebook group that includes thousands of people in our local town. It’s a group where you can become more involved in the community and get to know what’s going on in the town and area.

This was my first time posting about my business and offerings—and that I’m taking on a few new clients in May. I put myself out there professionally for the first time.

I’m always aware of the possibilities of social media morons, and so I usually do okay with any backlash—but I clearly wasn’t ready, NOR did I expect any kind of behaviour from a professional post sharing my offerings for new applicants.

I got called a SCAM!

😂😂😂

Looking back now, I find it hilarious. But at the time, I was completely shocked and mortified. I did laugh a little, thinking, 'How could someone actually think this is a scam?' But deep down, I was clearly upset.

Someone assumed I was a scammer because most of the professional pictures I posted were taken in NYC, where I lived before moving to England.

I felt humiliated and degraded. How could anyone think I was a scam? I had to respond, knowing the accusation could jeopardise my business. To make matters worse, another semi-nasty comment hinted at the same thing.

I was completely appalled looking back and felt incredibly vulnerable, especially since this was my first time sharing myself professionally. That was the moment of conflict-shock, when I was caught completely off guard.

My healing symptoms didn’t happen until almost a week later. I experienced the conflict-shock on a Monday, and the healing symptoms showed up the following Sunday. My resolution happened the day before, on that Saturday.

The healing came through a positive conversation with someone who found me through this post on Facebook and was interested in working with me (they weren’t the person who called me a scam). At the time, I wasn’t thinking, “Oh, I am conflict-active, and this will be my resolution.” I was simply going about my day, doing what I was doing—it’s our psyche that interprets these things, and the body follows.

My psyche interpreted this positive experience as a resolution from the whole Facebook palaver because this person was associated with the conflict-shock at the time (I had corresponded with them the day I experienced the conflict-shock to set up a time to meet and speak). And once the meeting and conversation actually happened, which was a very positive experience, my psyche said, “Okay, you can let this go now; you no longer feel humiliated and degraded.” That was the resolution for my psyche—simply having a positive experience with one of the people who was present to my psyche at the time of the conflict-shock.

Nothing is random in nature—it is meaningful and purposeful. Most of us may wake up and treat soreness as random or as a result of “sleeping funny.” If you dig a little deeper and become more aware, you’ll learn the rhythms we go through on a biological level, and you’ll gain a lot of insight into yourself and your own perceptions and beliefs.

One good indicator of healing is night sweats—and boy, have I had those. Waking up soaking wet isn’t fun, but I appreciate it so much because I know my body is doing exactly what it is meant to do. It’s working for me.

The next time you experience what you think is a random symptom, sit with it and reflect on the previous days. You may come to realize just how brilliant your body is—and gain insight into your own ways of perceiving the world around you.

In health,

Abigail